It's not a very good photo, or a very flattering photo, and it might seem like I'm flipping the bird but I was just using a remote control. It was a party, a friend's 50th party, and they announced they had gotten married, which would be unremarkable except that gay marriage is finally legalized in NY and these guys, who have been together longer than most married couples I know, finally tied the knot.
I dragged my camera along to the party even though I don't really have the equipment to be shooting a party in the dark. I figured I could at least set up a "photo booth" to document the guests.
Things didn't turn out like I planned. The second I got the camera on the tripod, folks started leaping in front of it. I should be so lucky.. except that the camera was still set to something involving bright light and sunflowers. While trying to get the settings right, I accidentally shot this photo of myself. And I'm sharing it with the internet because although it's a horrible photo of me, it pretty much sums it up at this moment. Every time I come across it, my heart hurts for her. She is in the dark, she's emerging, and she's none too happy about what she sees out there.
8 comments:
JJ - very emotional writing that captures a raw and honest look at yourself. But I see a woman not afraid to challenge herself; not afraid to continue to learn and grow.
Congrats to your friends! It's been a long time coming.
An amazing look into your soul through this photograph and your words JJ. Thank you so much for sharing it with us. I wonder, how did things turn out for "her" down the road?
It's so hard when you feel a bit out of your depth: photographing people in the dark, having people ready when you're not ready. I think i would have felt the same.
Thanks for sharing this image.
We'll see, friends, we'll see. Hopefully my husband will be helping me carve out the time and space I need to replenish myself!
I read this 3 times....there's such emotion in it. I like the photo as it causes pause. I always think that's a good trait in a photo-to make one think.
I can totally relate to forgetting to change the settings on the camera and having others jump in front and be goofy, while meanwhile you're trying to have a moment. I hope the next time you set the tripod, it's with result more pleasing to you.
Susan, I just got back from your blog and your quotation from Thoreau was perfect for pretty much the entire discipline of photography. And this photo of mine too - a fluke, but just one that speaks to me. I also loved this exercise!
It's a very honest photo. Thank you for sharing this glimpse of yourself, inside and out.
It's too bad that photography on this particular night didn't work out as you would like, but I'm sure there will be many opportunities ahead when things go perfectly and you shoot one "keeper" image after the other.
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