Scavenger Hunt Sunday

I trend toward being a bit of an Xmas humbug.. the commercialism, the constant repetition of tunes... but this year, we have our own home, and a 2 year old who thinks even my imperfect attempts at "tradition" are genius... This year, we made Christmas our way.. with no planning, spontaneously, and of course, with apple cider donuts!


Less is More
Loved this simple pop of birdie color...

It's hard to stop at just one.. but these apple cider donuts are so special, that "less is more"!

Holiday Lights

We call this "renegade photography"

Ornaments

Oh how I love getting the sweet little ornaments home from school... Now I understand why my mom saved so many...

The magic of Christmas is all over the house this year... every little wreath, ornament, wrapping, and bow is a wonder to her!

Cup of Cheer
Mama's got no cheer until I get about here in the cup o' joe...

And Miss Madame needs her morning "'moothie"... 

Nativity
It's all about peace in the end, right?

"renegade photography"

sometimes for fun, I like to try to take pictures out of the car window while my husband is driving. I call it renegade photography.  After we got our tree, I had some fun slowing down the shutter speed with my canons95.

Abundance

Art art art art

     I have to put out there that the word "art" in itself is aesthetically one of my least favorite words.  It sounds like a barking seal. It's up there with "moist," "ointment," "pudding" and anything with too many "s"s as things I'd rather avoid saying.
     Besides a bad word, art to me is an act of creation.  Any act that puts the actor into the stream of life and consciousness and which results in a product - a movement, a photograph, a stream of consciousness, an architectural drawing.  What is "bad" art and "good" art is a different dissertation and involves formal schools of study and talent and all that objective stuff.  In the b'hai faith, creative acts are considered prayer because the artist is connected directly to the same source of creation as god.  So if I go out with my camera and just shoot some warm-up shots with no aim or without consciousness, I'm not sure the results are art - just happenstance, just a byproduct of the mechanics.
    An artist then to me is anyone who taps into the source of creativity, who creates something by design and focus and intent.
    Art and creativity could play a bigger role in my life - I try to keep the source flowing by at least writing nonsense each night, but it's a challenge.  I crave being part of a creative community again, such as college, where the everyday language is assumed to be in a context of artistic acts.  Because I absolutely adore art and creativity - for myself, in movement, photography, writing, motherhood, and working with children (yes, there's an art!)  Which makes me a practitioner of several arts... and a consumer of any arts I can get my hands on.  Photography to me is unquestionably art.
    Am I am artist!? All of the above said, I would shy away from the term in public because it sets an expectation - but privately yes, I believe I am an artist.

Shooting Style

   My shooting style? Quick and dirty.  Brings to mind the Leonard Cohen lyrics, "The only thing I learned from love was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ya".

    My equipment is: a Nikon3000 DSLR which is pretty satisfactory - now that I know more, I can see some limitations, but one thing I do love is the intuitive feature-finders, and how it fits in my hand.  It's my buddy.  Even if I upgrade someday, I think this will still be my everyday buddy.  I have a 18-55 zoom lens and another zoom lens to 200.  (I SUSPECT there is a 50mm 1.8 portrait lens sitting in a box for my upcoming birthday...)  I carry this backpack thing that I hate.  I prefer to just have the camera crossbody until I see something.  The zoom lenses are handy for that - i can typically get away with just bringing one of them. I'd love suggestions for something different though.
     I prefer natural light, period.  If I never had to edit a photo, think about flash, or learn more about lighting, I'd be happy.
     Time of day - I don't have the luxury of thinking much about this. I shoot when I squeeze a moment. I do trend toward that awful middle of the day though! I love bright light.
     At home - prefer not, although there is a time of day that is stunning in my house.  Prefer to shoot when out and about, when the mood strikes, and definitely when traveling, at an event, or doing something I'd like to remember. I don't shoot when I'd rather be in the moment.  I don't shoot when I know the conditions are just going to frustrate me.
     I like everyday life and special events, as long as no one is expecting results!
     I'm pretty stuck on aperture priority mode.
     I like photography excursions, but that's because it seems to be the only time I can spend real time with the camera.  As per Twyla Tharp's book on creativity, I do try to keep my "pencil" on me at all times, just in case, which has led to some great photo shoots.  I will go with my husband and daughter sometimes, they're good company and keep me moving so I don't always get lost in the minutia.  I do also love to be alone and spend an hour photographing a birdhouse, lol.

     The camera equipment is a combo of suggestions from photographers I love, a quick decision in someone's trunk, and my own research.  The camera was supposed to be a D40, which I'm feeling I should have stuck with, as mine performs poorly at high ISOs.   This is only 400ISO - seems awfully messy to me.

Lack of faith in my camera does limit me from attempting some lighting situations.   My love of natural light is probably adapted from my favorite child photographers - I love portraits outdoors, in natural settings.  Use of aperture mode is just my lack of skill - I've got to find more moving targets to play with so I can rev up that part of my photography.  I am feeling really good about my use of Ap. mode though, so I guess spending the last 6 months in that mode wasn't all bad!  I'd like to focus on shutter priority and eventually be able to use manual mode effectively - but to be honest, I can't figure out how to use it, literally.  I can set the aperture but not the shutter.

    I am starting to envision a little bit how I'd like a photo to look, now that I'm understanding the camera's eye is different from mine.  I'm learning how to capture the essence of what I'm looking at.

    In other news, a friend of mine may be setting me up with a photographer friend of hers to follow around a couple of Saturdays - in return, he photographs many children w/ autism and has a hard time engaging them - DING!  That's where I come in!  I'll keep you posted... and in other news, the mom from the post below let me know today that her whole family is just dying to know... who took those pictures?  HEE HEE!

Facing Photography Fears

    My greatest problem is intimidation and other people's expectations.  If I am just on a photowalk for myself, I am free and easy - no stakes, no problems.  If I'm just photographing my own daughter, I know I get a second chance if I screw up.  The only thing preventing me from taking my photography on the road (besides that I need more skills) is confidence.
      With Kat's assignment of tackling a challenge in mind, I had my mind open for the last few days to work through this issue of confidence.  Two came up (of course - if you look the teacher arises)
     I work with children with special needs (autism) for a living.  I am in children's homes every day, and usually toting my camera around (don't like to leave it in the car!)  A mom was lamenting that she never has "school pictures" because it's so hard to capture her son.  I raised my figurative hand for that assignment - very low stakes - I see him every week!  I would love to show some of the results but due to confidentiality, I can't.  I can share her response though:

"Hi JJ,

Thanks so much for wonderful pics. I loved all the pics in his new outfit. I am crying looking at his today's pics.He is looking so handsome in Black & white pics.I can't believe that you have taken such good pics of N. He is very difficult guy when it comes to taking pics.M [his therapist], thanks so much for your idea of taking pics & efforts.regards,M."

How did i feel working through this problem?  You can guess.

     The second opportunity arose at a breast cancer walk which is close to our family's hearts, as my mother in law chairs it, and she is a 2 year survivor.  Those pics are below.  As soon as you break out the big gun camera, people are asking if you are from the newspaper etc etc.  I also don't excel yet at changing settings on the fly - I thrive much more in a controlled environment.  But when I focused on capturing the details for my mother in law and not on creating great photography, I came out with a few winners.  Having learned more about my "eye" prevented me from taking on photographs I couldn't handle, like groups of people or action shots.  I just stayed with the small stuff and was pretty happy with some results (below).  They might not be art, but they're documentation and they made someone happy.  Which is enough for me.

Breast Cancer walk

On Sunday we hung out at a breast cancer walk in honor of my mother in law, a two year survivor.

Autumn Walk

In an effort to flex my photographic muscle, preparing for the next series in the Kat Eye: Finding Your Eye series, I took a quick fall walk in the front yard.  I guess I should say I didn't do much walking: I laid on the ground:

Sat:

And spent a fair amount of time with my head on the concrete.  Ahhh, good to be back.  Looking forward to starting again on Sunday!

Final Review - Journey of Recognition

    At the close of the Kat Eye Journey of Recognition course, I have mixed emotions.  I don't feel I gave it my "all," due to various life circumstances.  I didn't keep up well with my inspiration files.  I didn't complete all the assignments.  I didn't find myself out in the "field" often and I barely picked up my camera in the last month.  we've been completely overwhelmed with life and lack of time, and I do wish I'd taken the course when I had more time to devote to it.

    That being said, I took away several valuable discoveries.  I learned that I can push through the block and come out with results I love.  I learned that if I want time, I have to force my family to get on board, and I have to kick them out of the house. It's just where we are right now.  I learned that I love the creative results, and I also crave to improve technically so I can achieve the things I want to.  I learned that I love wood!

    As I am driving here and there, I find myself longing to pull over and leap out of the car, set up the tripod, and capture various scenes.  I haven't ever been drawn to landscapes and I'm intimidated by them, which might be 75% of why I don't actually pull over.  It seems that I'm intimidated even by the process of setting up the camera on the tripod.  I hate using the tripod, come to think of it.  The need for a tripod actually stops me.  Huh.

     I had the opportunity to experiment with macro photography, and loved the impact of the photos, although there were so many technical imperfections that I was on the verge of hitting "BUY IT" on a macro lens.  

     I am looking forward to Journey of Inspiration as a redeemer - we'll be all settled in our new place, with new challenges but our weekends won't be spend driving hours and hours and packing and laundry and all that.  My goal going forward is to actually pull over when I feel the pull.  I might not get something out of every shoot, but unless I try, I'm not getting anything!!

    If you have the opportunity to take Kat's classes (button is around here somewhere - click to go to her page), they're phenomenal for anyone in any stage of the photographic journey!

Shake it like a milkshake

I meant to share my little "discovery" which I'm sure isn't novel but it was to me:
To reduce shake when without tripod etc etc in the crappy low light setting as per previous post, put the camera on continuous shooting mode and capture 4-5 images.  The press and release of the shutter button cause shake, but the images in the middle tend to be clearer.  A ha!

Recognizing Inspiration

    As a board certified behavior analyst, today's photojournal prompt is particularly exciting.  What Kat has presented us with is called a task analysis - a breakdown of a more complex skill, like tying shoes or.. making a photograph.  It clicks with my brain's scientific way of thinking.
     When I am at work or trying to figure out my next steps in life, small or big, I always come back to a concept I learned from a marcus buckingham podcast - strengths and weaknesses.  He conceptualizes strengths as things you are good at, yes, but also - ready for it? - things that strengthen you.  He says that things you are good at, but hate, are not actually strengths, but weaknesses.  And worse, because you're good at them, people keep throwing them at you.  I am an excellent interviewer but I hate it - but I get assigned most of the interviews, during which I am just dreaming about being somewhere else.  I am also an excellent materials-maker, and while I am laminating, creating visual supports, etc, time just flies by. I'd do it even if I didn't get paid.  It's a thrill.
    That's what we're looking at here, as well - our strengths and weaknesses in the photographic process.  (PS - something you suck at but love to do is neither a strength or weakness - it's a hobby, lol).
   
     My strengths in the photographic process are: -seeing a subject - since I had my little epiphany, I can sharply identify what exactly it is I wanted to photograph, what about that subject, and am beginning to conceptualize how I want to present that to a viewer. -I love most of the exploration except when technicalities get in the way.  -Review is a thrill, and less and less a surprise (as in, oh, I thought that would be great and it was awful kind of surprise).  -I love sharing with others and receiving feedback.

    My weaknesses are: -Editing is boring.  I also don't have proper editing software, and further, my ultimate goal is for the photographs to require little editing to begin with.  I'm not yet into the editing-as-creative-process part - probably because I haven't been exposed and I don't imagine I'll ever have time for it.  -I never get an end result although putting photos up on the blog is often disappointing because out of their context in my photostream, they're often not as exciting as I thought.  I also find the cropping or color or something about a printed product to be very disappointing when I get them back.  I don't think printing processes have caught up with the digital aspect ratio or something.

     One area of frustration I continue to come up against is lack of equipment to do what I want to do - e.g., my girlfriend would like me to take her new portraits in exchange for providing interior design for my cottage. I want to agree, but I don't have a good portrait lens, reflectors, or the skill to get good SOOTC shots, or any training regarding posing and making people look good - even though it's one of my motivations.

    One area that I see I get jazzed up about over and over is exploring the subject - and letting it reval itself.

   


  a. Intention to photograph b. Seeing a subject c. Exploring/studying a subject with your camera d. Review of your images e. Editing of your images f. Getting an end result – on the wall, on the web, etc. g. Understanding your images h. Sharing with others i. Receiving feedback

Unfamiliar Subject - Photojournal

    When the last lesson from the 4-week Kat Eye: Journey of Recognition course arrived in my mailbox, I could hardly believe it.  Life, the universe, and bad lighting seriously impaired my ability to keep up with this class, and I have been blessed with amazing "virtual" classmates that have formed a real, vibrant online community and classroom.  I hope someday Kat will sponsor a retreat and we will all get away together with our cameras and our array of personalities.  I also hope it will be in Oregon, because 1) I've always wanted to go there and 2) I think I want a tattoo from this place in Oregon that I can't remember the name of.

    The silver lining is that we have another course coming up almost immediately, the Journey of Inspiration.  So, I have hope.

    However, I don't think it was ONLY my life that got in the way  -  it was my self too.  I think I intimidated myself, set my expectations too high, had a few amazing breakthroughs and experiences in Starting the Journey, and got fearful and too expectant.

     So today I kicked everyone out of the house, didn't bother about the fact that the lighting is subpar, and decided to tackle photographing an unfamiliar object, from a couple weeks back.  I usually lean towards my daughter, or natural backgrounds like wood, and shooting outdoors, so I figured I would try some depression glass that I needed to photograph anyhoo.

     

     During the exercise (photos are here), I started out frustrated because I just wanted to capture this little glass, and 1) the light bites, 2) I couldn't get an uncluttered background 3) my camera is notorious for a lot of noise at high ISOs, 4) my husband took my todder AND my tripod, argh.  I wasn't interested in this, and then I put the little glass on the wooden bench and added some mirrors to try to capture more natural light.  Still boring. I added a different piece (with branches, of course) and got more into it - there was some texture, and interest, and something in the glass jar spoke to me.  Then I came around the corner, like Kat trained us to do, and there was the little jar, looking at itself.  In that angle, time got lost, things came together, and the little vignette in the previous post was born.

     Joke's on me: I ended up using the natural element as a backdrop, of course, and sticking with the wide aperture, of course.. but I tried, I opened up the creative gates again, and I'd still like to try sports or architecture, but once again, can't let perfect get in the way of good. I think that the challenges of light and glass, which fades into many backgrounds, made this a challenge for me.  Regardless, I feel very emotional about the results.  There was something very touching to me about objects examining themselves in the mirror, about the branches reaching out of the tiny jar, about the tiny old webs hanging off the branches, and finally, the brilliance and transcendence of the light on the glass and mirror.  The whole process gave me some hope about our situation and my mental state right now.

Unfamiliar subject- the pics

Dual Identity

Escape

Haunted

shine

La-De-Da, Foggy Day

Does anyone else remember the terrific children's CD "In Harmony"?  If you have a child in your life, you've got to look it up. There's a great song about a sailor and a mermaid, singing "la de da, foggy day, ship ahoy, and by the way..."
    This morning I was late for work as always and my charming little bubba insisted on using an umbrella in the drizzle. The last thing that would occur to me would be to pull out the camera in the fog and rain but this umbrella obsession just screams to be documented, and why let perfect get in the way of good when you also have a "weird light" assignment to fulfill!?

I absolutely loved the misty, faded look that the 8am light filtered through the fog lent to these photographs.  Obviously we didn't have much time for composition or anything like that, especially as it's impossible to photograph a kid-on-wheels safely, when standing that close to the street.  However, if I could wrap the camera in a baggie and do some planning with vintage-inspired palettes, I'd love to do a rainy/foggy photoshoot.  Don't you think this soft look has potential? 

Intuitive Photojournal - in the dark

It's not a very good photo, or a very flattering photo, and it might seem like I'm flipping the bird but I was just using a remote control.  It was a party, a friend's 50th party, and they announced they had gotten married, which would be unremarkable except that gay marriage is finally legalized in NY and these guys, who have been together longer than most married couples I know, finally tied the knot.

I dragged my camera along to the party even though I don't really have the equipment to be shooting a party in the dark.  I figured I could at least set up a "photo booth" to document the guests.
     Things didn't turn out like I planned. The second I got the camera on the tripod, folks started leaping in front of it. I should be so lucky.. except that the camera was still set to something involving bright light and sunflowers.  While trying to get the settings right, I accidentally shot this photo of myself.  And I'm sharing it with the internet because although it's a horrible photo of me, it pretty much sums it up at this moment.  Every time I come across it, my heart hurts for her.  She is in the dark, she's emerging, and she's none too happy about what she sees out there.

Take a Walk on the Wild Side

Glad to see rock n roll is still alive in NYC. Sort of.

Sunflower maze

This charming maze is found in Augusta, NJ and is only around for a couple of weekends; it's interesting to be inside something so robust and ephemeral at the same time.

Don't they look like they're in a cult?

Doesn't it look like this sunflower is being strangled?

Don't you love the way these look like a proud mama and papa sunflower, beaming down on their little one?